Just ‘Ace’ing it
~A Blog about Asexuality in 2022 by Jeenia Gogoi
In a society that is often hypersexual, asexuals are made to feel “broken.” They feel isolated from a physiological phenomenon, “this hunger,” that everyone but them seem to be obsessed with.
It’s easy to take for granted and assume that sexual attraction is a universal experience and that certain people can send our hearts fluttering and mind racing. But some people never experience feelings of sexual attraction — not in their youth, not during puberty when their peers’ hormones are raging, and not as adults.
Asexual, often called “ace”, refers to a complete or partial lack of sexual attraction or lack of sexual desire. Not wanting sex is not the same as not wanting romance or intimacy.
People always consider sex to be a binding force, that keeps the spark in a relationship alive. But instead it’s the intimacy that we crave for. Though a relationship which has not been consummated can be underestimated and looked down upon in the society, an individual can have an intimate life-altering relationship without sex.
Even in the 21st century people are delusional to the asexual community and a plethora of myths surround the idea of asexuality.
Asexuality is not a phase of ‘dry spell’ or a choice, it is real, asexuals exist. Asexuality is not celibacy or a dysfunction, this misconception stems from the idea that asexuality is a choice and not a legitimate sexual orientation.
The assertion that asexuality is a mental or physical disorder is incredibly harmful to asexual people and has led to false diagnosis, unnecessary medication, and attempts at converting asexual people.
Reparative therapy used in the 60s and 70s(now banned) was an attempt to convert asexuals, not realizing that it isn’t a disease and they do not require therapy or medications or to be fixed. What people do need to accept is that asexuality is valid and give them equal rights and respect in the society.
Although validity and social acceptance of homosexuality, pansexuality or even bisexuality seem to evolve positively in the recent years, asexuality still stays an invisible and misunderstood sexual orientation.
While Asexuals encompass at least 1% of the population, only few people really know what it is about and the realities it covers. It is about time that we understand like any other socially acceptable sexual orientation, asexuality is a part of it too, and try our best to eradicate the taboo surrounding the same.
The reel life is a reflection of the real society we live in, and though we have a long way ahead, we have to applaud tiny milestones that our society and film industry has accomplished.
In recent times the TV and film industry have worked to broaden LGBTQA+ representation on televisions. Asexual characters are still few but slowly and steadily gaining their recognition.
BoJack Horseman has arguably one of TV’s most high-profile representations of asexuality with the wacky and loveable Todd (Aaron Paul). Todd’s sexuality developed organically alongside the show’s developing storyline.
The character’s asexuality was first alluded to in the third season finale when he admitted to his then-girlfriend that he isn’t gay or straight, but instead “might be nothing”.
Netflix’s hit show, A mass favourite — Sex Education, has undertaken the bold task of trying to talk about sex and is inclusive of most of the sexual orientations. Florence, an asexual character, unaware of her orientation says she feels indifferent, “like I’m surrounded by a huge feast with everything I could want to eat, but I’m not hungry.”
But on self-revelation, she realises that “she isn’t a freak” or broken, she is an asexual. She doesn’t need to be fixed, but needs love and support from her dear ones.
“Sex doesn’t make us whole. And so, how could I ever be broken?” goes the quote.
This isn’t the end, but just the beginning of a beautiful journey of acceptance. This Pride Month celebrate yourself, celebrate your sexuality, love yourself a little more, because you deserve it!
Until Next Time, Carpe diem!
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Instagram: @jeeniagogoi
